That is NOT a good thing. However, it is an anniversary that I will never forget. Although; I wish it never happened.
It changed my life drastically. And to this day, it causes problems for me.
I am very lucky to be alive today. Although, I have experienced some side effects caused by the Cobalt radiation treatments I received 31 years ago, I am still alive to talk about it. :)
I want to say thank you to my wife Linda, my mom and dad, my sister Tracy (who is also a cancer survivor), all of my relatives and the many friends who have supported me and helped me get through it all and put up with me through the years. :)
For those who would like more details, feel free to check out "My Story".
The Most Recent Chapter...
It has been a few years now since the beginning of the migraines and seizures.I am still trying to adjust and deal with the symptoms I am experiencing. Some days it is quite a challenge.
The medications I take help a lot. I haven't experienced any seizures in a while now (that I know of) and the migraines are under control for the most part.
I still get headaches fairly often... these headaches are often accompanied by the Migraine aura. But they are much less frequent and far less intense than they used to be.
For the most part, I am winning more battles than I am loosing. I think...
I am struggling with a few main symptoms. I wish that I didn't have to deal with them at all, but, as I have always said; "Shit Happens", there isn't a whole lot I can do about it. So, I just deal with it the best I can.
My four most serious symptoms are:
- Memory Loss
- Vission Issues
- Migraine Headaches and Aura
- Exhaustion and Insomnia...
Memory Loss...
I don't remember any of the doctors I've seen ever giving it an actual name. I'm sure it is some obscure “syndrome”, but to put it in words most people will understand: It is a combination of anterograde amnesia and retrograde amnesia.
I am not a doctor and my understanding of this "stuff" is a bit limited. But, this is my personal opinion based on my symptoms and what I've read and seen on the internet. I may be way off, but no one has ever given me an actual diagnosis, that I know of...
There are two main types of amnesia, and I believe that I suffer from both to some degree. I define these as follows:
- Anterograde amnesia: Difficulty learning and remembering new things.
- Retrograde amnesia: Difficulty recalling long term memories.
My issues involve mostly my short term memory and learning/remembering things that have happened since I started having Migraines and seizures. However, my long term memory is very inconsistent at the best of times. I have trouble recalling different things every day. And sometimes it comes back to me when I think about it for a while.... Sometimes not.
vision loss...
Since the onset of migraine headaches, the accompanying aura, and the siezures, I have had vision loss on the right side of my field of vision in both eyes.This issue makes it impossible to drive safely. So, I had to sell my car. Not being able to drives is not the end of the world, but it also makes reading a huge challenge.
I was always a heavy reader. But now, I have to read at such a slow pace it is almost painful. But, on a positive note, I am still able to read. As long as I limit the length of what I read.
The following graphic is an example of how I see now. I made it to help others understand. Since I can not explain it effectively.
Migraine Headaches and Aura...
When I first started having Migraine headaches; they were so severe that they interfered with my vision and speech and I felt as though my head was going to split open at all times. These headaches lasted days if not weeks at a time with only a short break before I had another one.Normal pain killers, and even the heavy duty narcotics they give you in hospitals were not effective in relieving the pain.
It took a while, but the doctors finally found the right combination of meds to minimize the headaches. I say minimize, because I still have headaches on a regular basis; although nowhere near as severe or as frequent as they once were. And, since I've started taking prescription medication for Migraines, they do not last nearly as long as they once did.
They come, on average, 2 or three times a week (sometimes more). But, I can tollerate them for the most part.
The Migraine headaches are often accompanied by what is called “Migraine Aura”. It is a nasty side effect that causes problems with my vision (more than normal) and strange tingly feelings in my brain and eyes. Click this link if you'd like a more detailed explanation of “the aura”.
Exhaustion and Insomnia...
At the same time??? Holy crap that is frustrating. Let's just say that I haven't been more frustrated by many thing.There is not much that is more frustrating than being completely exhausted, both mentally and physically, and not being able to sleep.
I am no doctor, chemist or pharmacis0t; but I think that the exhaustion and insomnia are caused by the medication I have to take for my headaches and the anti-seizure meds. At least I only noticed the problem after the medication got into my system.
I have a feeling that if the Migraines and Seizures weren't keeping me medicated, I'd probably be able to have a normal sleep pattern.
But, for now, I am still trying to adjust and learn to deal with things the way they are.
I am not the same person I was before these issues presented themselves. I've always been a bit selfish, cynical and impatient to some degree. But now, it's harder than ever to deal with.
This is a bit contradictory to my amnesia issues. I'm not quite sure what it means or how to deal with it...
Again, I have to say that my family and friends have been incredible. Thank you all for putting up with me and supporting me. I hope I can learn to deal with this and find the person I used to be...
--- Mark ...
